“I could have been anything I wanted.” Reno declares haughtily as he throws his paperwork onto my desk. “I could do anything I wanted.” He glares at me for several moments awaiting some response so that he can persist in his yelling and nagging. He crosses his arms and sits down in the large chair on the other side of the desk.

I fear he’s going to be here all day unless I say something. I nod as I look through the paperwork. “Mhm.”

I find it somewhat sad that he acknowledges my obvious lack of interest as an appropriate response. Reno takes a deep breath before launching into his next tirade. “You know, Princess, I coulda been a detective. I coulda had a straight job. You guys are damn lucky to have me here, so you better start treating me with some respect.” There is a momentary pause as he adds, “Otherwise…”

My initial response is to say, ‘Otherwise what?’ but my mind halts at the thought of Reno as a detective. He’s so sloppy. He’s so loud, he’s so…Reno that I just can’t fathom it would work out at all. I look up from the paper work in my hands and shake my head slowly repeating, “Detective? Reno, I hardly think th-“

He shoots into the conversation with a grin that makes me want to slap him, “Then why are you leader?”

“You’re treading thin ice Reno.” I growl back, “What’s got your panties in a twist that you’re here arguing your abilities?”

“Yeah, I coulda been a detective. I’ve got the skill and know how. I’m observant. No one can stop me. I’m in good shape, I can shoot a gun. I’m a master of interrogation.” Reno brags.

But I have no idea how that answers my questions so I simply nod in response, “Of course, you wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“Damn straight!” Reno hisses, “You guys need me!”

I’m not sure who he is trying to convince of this fact.

“If I were on the other side of the fence, I’d totally be able to catch you guys!” He breaks to laugh, “I mean all those unidentifiable murders, I’d put all of you behind bars. Especially you.” His hand slides against the air “Imagine it. You’d be brunette – a hardened criminal conned into doing this work by a manipulative son of a bitch. You’re killing but you don’t enjoy it. You cry yourself to sleep every night, no one loves you and you have to fight just to stay alive in a male dominated world. Every day is hell for you having to work your way up from the bottom. No one would dare listen to you because you’re just a broad.”

And I can’t tell if I’m amused or confused. Nor do I even want to know why I’ve suddenly been cast as the world’s worst syndicate member.

“Your boss hit you and so you got sloppy from your injuries. Normally you’re very meticulous but you got tired of the beatings.” He nods, “So in attempts to free yourself from your money grubbing boss you left little clues, which was actually pretty smart, but you didn’t anticipate that I was already on your case. So just as you were putting the final pieces to your plan I arrest you for all the crimes you ever did.” Reno nods sagely, “You see I’m an expert in homicide. It also helps to be psychotic, you know. That’s me in a word.”

I think he’s been awake for too many hours with very little sleep. Because even Reno ought to know the word he’s looking for is psychic. Although I admit many things now make sense. I take a deep breath and utter, “I see.”

“You go to prison for life. And I bring down Shinra. Everyone lives happily ever after.” Reno half grins content with his story.

I quirk an eyebrow, “I’m brunette and in prison, the victim of abuse, how is that ‘happily ever after’?”

“Ah be quiet Princess.” Reno scoffs, “Rude dies in a shoot out.”

“Reno, I appreciate your story. And I find it’s a good skill to be able to verbalize your thoughts on little to no sleep. I’d like to make some corrections to make the impact of your story more…rewarding.” I nod slightly and he waves his hand to let me know its okay, “One, you got all that super training to catch criminals and notice things beyond normal sighting from the Turks. Without that you’d just be a suit with a gun and no definable skill. Two, psychotic means insane. You mean psychic which is more akin to a sixth sense which would allow you special insight.”

Reno looks like I’ve slapped him.

“Three, I’d never be a brunette not even in some alternate reality.”

Reno stands up.

“And four, Rude wouldn’t be caught in a shoot out and you know it.”

Reno pauses at the doorway, “Way to be a downer Princess. I was trying to convince myself I’m a good person.”

Our eyes meet.

“Reno you’re a good Turk. You’re also a jackass. It’s more than acceptable for this line of work.” I smile and watch as his face distorts into a chuckle before he yells something out the door along the lines of, ‘She says it’s okay if I’m an asshole! She expects it’.

I can only shake my head as the door closes behind him and Rude sits in the chair next. I can’t see his eyes through his sunglasses but I know he’s not pleased. His mouth opens to speak but I interrupt him.

“Reno said he could be a detective. In that story you died. You got shot.”

I don’t need to look up to know where Rude is going. The door clicks shut lightly behind him, and I’m somewhat thankful I got stuck with them. It’d be terrible to burden society with them.